Benefits of Acting Instead of Reacting

Opening up, Letting Go – Creating Your own Experiences

 What is life?

With an optimistic approach life becomes one good encounter followed by a better experience, there really won’t be many situations that would create despair or an average life experience for an optimist. With 100% responsibility for creating your life – your way and determination to see the good in everything, each moment becomes an opportunity for producing the quality of life you desire.

Every encounter in life when they’ve been marked increases in feelings of well being, I pay attention to the behavior, thoughts and actions that produced them and I look for more ways in my life to create similar encounters. The same is done when the opposite occurs; I continually look for ways to avoid circumstances that would reduce my feelings of wellbeing.  The more pleasurable our encounters the greater our life experience.

The most important lesson to learn and to continually perfect, is that of catching ourselves reacting to a stimuli instead of acting and then doing something about it at that very moment.

Many times before I found myself reacting to a situation that most likely was not in my favor and I acknowledged it but did nothing about it.  I walked away with empty feelings, I knew I was reacting and not thinking, I knew I was wrong or too harsh but I did nothing about it.  I moved forward with a diminished sense of wellbeing, defeated.

It was through control of my emotions and the determination to always have peace, happiness and love with me that I was able to experience the difference of acting instead of reacting in my life regardless of stimuli.

When the importance of having happiness, love and peace becomes priority in our lives, our thoughts and actions create more opportunities for generating these things. Happiness, Love, Peace are all within, they are all feelings we create. There need not be circumstances in life for us to experience the benefits of these feelings. It becomes easier to catch ourselves reacting and revert toward acting so our priorities in life are fulfilled.

Three days ago my husband finally got his tattoo done after many years of talking about it. With several smaller ones, I paid no attention to what a sleeve really meant and the changes it would have on his outward appearance. I supported his decision because I knew it meant a lot to him and I believed the unconditional acceptance I have of him was enough. After hundreds of episodes of LA / Miami Ink.. And dozens of trips to tattoo shops across Canada, Barbados and the Philippines when he said he’s getting it done and there was a date and place, I knew it was ink time.

Discussions were not detailed and I’ve learnt once more…..get intimate with big decisions. Ask a lot of questions so there is no uncertainty and clarity replaces fear.

After a business meeting I met up with my husband at the tattoo shop. On my arrival the layout was almost completed. I honestly flipped out. Somehow three stars, a sun and an ancient alphabet depicting our daughters name was no where to be seen in my eyes. Unfamiliarity of what tattooing was all about I was unprepared for what was in front of me. With fear, panic and shock I reacted. I begged my husband to rethink the layout, I pleaded with the tattoo artist to stop.

A few minutes later in tears and filled with mixed emotions I caught myself.  I caught myself in the middle of a heated debate. There and then, in that given moment I made a decision to create the outcome I truly desired. I silenced myself and I gathered my thoughts. Reality and truth kicked in.

I stood there lost in my world while I grasp hold of my perceptions and opened them up, I looked at the bigger picture, I placed myself within the skin of one of the most important persons in my life. Just as the tears stopped, the distortions of the things infront of me were lifted and there was transformation.

I felt every ounce of fear lifted, I felt my husbands joy, I realised my turmoil was being created by me, no one else, not the artist or my husband. It simply was my own.

I instantaneously became overwhelmed with an immense feeling of relief this was followed by love, peace and happiness. Magically thereafter it felt like my eyes were opened up. I gained the courage to look once more at the tattoo being crafted. Shockingly, this time there was no fear, in fact I had to look a second time, and somehow it did not look the same.  I do not know if in a matter of minutes the artist was able to transform what was before me or if it simply was the realization of my reaction, a change of thoughts, or my choice to act on behalf of my priorities in life.

As transformation was taking place outside as outlines now showed more detail, what previously appeared honestly as demonic from my adapted twisted perceptions, somehow simply stood out as it really was – a depiction of my husbands ancient culture, the two women in his life through his lens.  It really was just an art expression of his feelings within. 

Once more life lessons in the making, simply let go of perceptions, open up to reality, let in, create and move forward with a better life experience.

The rapid changes in my perception elicit an outcome in favor of us both. As I drove to pick my daughter up from school I was overcome as I often am by gratitude for a journey in life that is truly my own making.